Rockland, Maine — Raising Sandra

As I approach another birthday on March 5, I would like to tell you how I got here. What makes me the person I am?

 The phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child,” is said to come from an African proverb. We first became aware of the phrase from a children’s book written by Jane Cowen-Fletcher and published in 1994 by Scholastic Press. Titled, It Takes a Village, it was the story of an African girl searching for her brother only to find that the entire village had been watching over him. Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton borrowed the phrase in her 1996 politically oriented book, It Takes a Village: And Other Lessons Children Teach Us.

I credit my immediate and extended family for a big part of my adult makeup. However, throughout my childhood in the South End and in Rockland, there were many other people who helped me along the way. They took care of my physical needs; were there when my parents couldn’t be; encouraged me in my various pursuits; let me believe in my dreams.

I have already written about the many women in the South End neighborhood where I grew up who influenced my growing up. You can read about them in an earlier blog, “The Real Housewives of the South End.” Of those women, I can truly say that Thelma Small had my back on more occasions than I can count.

Some of the people I mention from here on I suspect had an influence on some of your lives too. When children were involved, they stepped up and rolled up their sleeves.

One of the people who took care of my physical needs was our family doctor, Dr. Gilmore Soule.  You don’t find doctors like Doc Soule anymore. He came to our house to check out our measles, mumps, chicken pox, and strep throats. I remember he always made a game out of listening to our lungs with his stethoscope. He’d say, “Say 1,2.” We did. “Three, four.” We did. He gave me my physicals in high school so I could play on the basketball team. On one such visit I complained of that teenage ailment, acne. He said, “My daughter, Mary (in my class in school) just uses a hot cloth on her face at night.” As Mary always had such great skin, I decided to try it too. I used a hot cloth on my face morning and night and it worked pretty well. I still follow that regimen today.

If Dr. Soule couldn’t come to the house for some reason, we’d call Eliza Steele. What an impact this kind woman had on our community. I believe she was one of the first public health nurses to found and run a “well baby clinic” in her offices at the community building. I may be wrong, but I think she started that program. She knew all the signs and symptoms of communicable diseases as good as any doctor we had at that time. We trusted her and rightly so. She deserved getting a street and low-income housing area named after her. She’s a big reason why my sister, Sally, became a nurse.

Of the teachers who most influenced my academic life I would include: Mildred Merrill, Bertha Luce, and Mr. Harjula, my South End Teachers; Herbie Hillgrove, Miss Sherwood, Lincoln Johnson, Priscilla Noddin, and Mr. Zeigler, Sr. Mildred Merrill was the first teacher to recognize my writing ability in fourth grade. Miss Noddin and Mr. Ziegler both encouraged me to further my education. I shared my graduate school thesis with Miss Noddin when I came home that summer.

Other people who taught me a skill were Vere (Chum) Crockett, our band director in high school; and Winola Cooper, our chorus director. I learned to play the tenor sax at South School, but when I got to high school, Chum discovered that I couldn’t really read music and was, in fact, playing by ear. As it’s hard to direct a band unless the members are actually reading the music, Chum gave me a snare drum instead. I could keep a beat just fine. I eventually used this skill when I joined the Port ‘O Rockland Drum and Bugle Corps in town.

The Corps was run by Bud Clark. He loved kids and loved the competition that drum and bugle corps brought. He was our Pied Piper, and later on, as I remembered him, he reminded me of the band leader in “76 Trombones.” Years later, I met him on the street at a Fourth of July parade in Hartford, Connecticut, where I was living at the time. He was still involved with a corps and was also a drill master.

I must mention all the women who were involved with us as Brownies and Girl Scouts from second grade all the way through high school. These women taught me not only how to set a table but they also taught me tolerance and the importance of volunteerism. I remember one visit we made to the mental hospital in Augusta. We played games with the patients in the day room. I was scared to death at first, but soon discovered they were people just like us. I hope I don’t leave out any names: Mrs. Whitehill, Mrs. Harriman, Mrs. Studley, Mrs. Post, Mrs. Carver. My own mother, Evangeline, also helped out one year.

Pratt Memorial Methodist Church, now the Wyeth Museum, was also a learning ground for me. Two women, Mrs. Louise Gregory and Mrs. Ivy Chatto, ran the Sunday School program for many years. I learned all my Bible stories from them. Later on in life, as I studied Mythology, I discovered how much those Bible stories are similar to stories from many other cultures. They have been used as the basis for many novels and even some soap operas. Really.

Another person who had a big influence in my life from the age of five to 18, was Madelyn Drinkwater, our local dance teacher. I was one of her very first students, before she was even married and her name was Madelyn Oliver. She taught me poise, grace, rhythm, and above all, confidence in myself. I would also like to mention her longtime piano player, Mrs. Johnson, who would gladly play for you in other events you may be involved in. She was a gracious lady, who, I believe, played piano for the silent movies that played at the Strand Theater downtown.

There are many more people who helped “raise Sandra” in my village of the South End and Rockland. I would like to recognize the man who gave me my first job and the responsibility that went along with it at Newberry’s. His name was Mr. O’Conner. I also worked a lot with a woman named Harriett Randlett at the store. She taught me all I needed to know about retail display. She was a good friend and was always interested to learn what I was doing when I’d come in to say hello when I was in town.

The last “family” I would like to mention here, however, is my Courier Gazette family. I was a “newspaper brat” and grew up in that office since the first time my father carried me into the office as a baby in his arms. Publisher, Sid Cullen, was always interested in what I was doing in school, even as a college student. When I worked there in the summers he’d call me into his office and ask me how I was doing in school. Raymond Anderson, who with his wife, Etta, was good friends of my parents, worked as a hand press operator. He could really make that thing sing. As a young child, when my father brought me in, he’d always give me a dime for an ice cream. He was a jolly man who always had a joke for you. All of my immediate family worked at the Courier at one time or another. My father was a part time compositor, reading type upside down and backside too. My brother, Ted, became a linotype operator. My mother, sister and I did a lot of “inserting” jobs. I also did the mailing preparation on press nights in summers. I learned the basics of proofreading too. If we were working late, Mabel (Ma) Pink, wife of Forrest Pinkerton, would bring us doughnuts or even hamburgers to keep us going. It was a family after all. I thank the Courier for giving me my foundation in the printing business and for letting me work there when I had time off from school. It was the only “drop in” employer I ever had. I never went through that office door without a smile on my face.

Mass Communications guru of the 60s, Marshall McLuhan coined the phrase “global village.” Think about all the influences your children have today. It is possible for grandparents to see and converse with their grandchildren hundreds of miles away, via computer. The “village” that raises our children today has no borders anymore. Think about that.

Thanks for listening.

BIRTHDAY WISHES: I would like to send out birthday wishes to my February and March family and friends who share my birthday time with me. Happy Birthday to sister Sally; niece Bette Bergeron (born on my birthday); and friends Violet Karl, Pat Pendelton, and Sandra Zimmerman. All together now, 1…2…3…HAPPY BIRTHDAY!