If plays were food, Mary Weaver’s new offering at The Playhouse — “Wild Mushrooms” — would be an extra-large pizza with a spicy sauce, olives, anchovies, mushrooms and lots of prosciutto. That’s Italian ham. With a side of cheesecake.

Anne Pié’s play from 2008 tells of the Italian-American Scrivente family of the Bronx. The mother has passed away, but Benny, the no-nonsense father, does his best to steer the family to a bright future.

Both of Benny’s daughters, Regina and Dodie, hope to hear wedding bells in the near future. Joey, their 13-year-old brother, hears his calling as a writer. Living on the second floor of the Scrivente household is Aunt Rose, who hears things that other people don’t, including the voice of a second-century Tibetan monk.

One day at the salon, Dodie shampoos handsome young Mario, who takes a liking to her. Before long, they are engaged to be married. With a marriage, families meet, but Mario’s family is not just a family. It is The Family. Capeesh?

To open The Playhouse’s 2010 season, producer/director Weaver has picked just the right sort of play to rub the sand from our drowsy eyes. “Wild Mushrooms” isn’t weighty or thought-provoking; it isn’t significant or historic. It doesn’t even carry a message that you didn’t already bring in with you. In fact, the play is pretty silly. That’s the point. It’s funny and, under Weaver’s direction, as sharp and quick as a smart-mouthed boy wonder.

Peter Conant, a familiar face on local stages and a regular with the New Vaudeville Revue, strikes a credible balance between the tyrant and pushover sides of Benny. Hard-working, long-suffering Benny’s dream of having his own restaurant is easily imagined watching Conant putter fretfully between pots in the kitchen on stage.

Regina, the older daughter, uses her “connections” as a phone company supervisor to meet husband material — so far without much luck. “I enjoy a variety of exotic men,” she explains to her father, “and I will continue my odyssey.” Angelina Nichols portrays Regina’s romantic ambition with charm and intelligence.

Younger sister Dodie could be thought of as a dumb blonde, but in fact she’s a brunette. Julia Clapp, who played the ingenue in last season’s “Sherlock Holmes’ Veiled Secret” at The Playhouse, works wonders with her megawatt smile. Dumb? Who’s first in line for happily ever after?

Kid brother Joey is at that awkward age of being young enough to eavesdrop behind the sofa and old enough to risk getting pounded for it. Wise beyond his years, Joey feels unappreciated and is quick to let everyone know. One theatergoer remarked about Joey, “If I don’t like the character, I know the actor is doing a good job.” Joey is ably played by Clayton Clemetson, who has contributed on stage and backstage to numerous Playhouse productions.

Rounding out the Scrivente household is Benny’s sister Rose, said to be “51 cards short of a full deck.” Rose is a psychic and, while her premonitions may be sketchy, they are generally right on the money. Venerable veteran Leslie Stein — toast of Waterville, Belfast and all points in between — tears into the role with customary flair and panache.

When high-powered theatrical attorney Eviel Kharren shows up looking for the author of a remarkable work, the story shifts into high gear. Regina’s amorous interest is piqued by his being of Lebanese descent. Jacob Fricke, who also appeared in last year’s “Sherlock Holmes,” plays the part just short of going over the top.

If Dodie is good at one thing, it’s “plopping the cherry on his hot fudge sundae.” Ask her fiancé Mario, a good-looking goodfella — or so it seems — convincingly portrayed by Playhouse newcomer Micah Ellis. Mario’s affections come with a solitaire and the prospect of little house with “pivot” fence.

Lincoln Clapp, who took the title role in last year’s “Sherlock Holmes,” returns to The Playhouse stage as Angelo Pecorino, the notorious “Big Cheese” who serves as lieutenant to the head of The Family. Is it a stretch for Clapp? This reviewer didn’t think so. Under my breath I said, “Uh-oh.”

Completing the wiseguy contingent is the Don himself, Sarlo Bambino, played by Weaver’s long-time colleague Phil Prince. Playhouse audiences will remember Prince as the Italian grandfather matched with Stein’s Italian grandmother in “Over the River and Through the Woods” of The Playhouse’s 2007 season.

The funny, funky action unfolds in the kitchen of the Scrivente home, artfully realized by Conant and Prince. Much of the scenery is white metal, Formica and plastic, but there is enough tasteful woodwork throughout to allow for the actors’ unrestricted chewing.

Fricke undertook the production’s costuming to great effect, most notably in his own first-act suiting. Where he found it is a reasonable question. Aunt Rose’s eye-popping outfits also give one pause. The two husband-hungry daughters are as fetchingly attired as their fussbudget father will allow.

A word to the audience and the players is in order. I had the opportunity to read the script before seeing the show, and I got a good taste of the wealth of wordplay. As can be expected, some jokes are stronger, some are weaker. In performance, I felt many of the jokes weren’t registering. This may be because the audience doesn’t expect gags in such rapid succession, or it may be that the actors are misfiring. I almost wish the players could alert the audience each time a joke is coming.

“Wild Mushrooms” continues for another two weekends at The Playhouse, 107 Church St. Performances on Fridays and Saturdays, March 19, 20, 26 and 27, are at 8 p.m. and on Sundays, March 21 and 28, at 4 p.m. Tickets are $10 at the door. Seating is limited, and reservations are advised at 338-5777.

A now-and-again actor and long-time theater fan, William Nelson lives in Belfast.