Right now, you humans are under an unprecedented amount of stress. I hear the news reports when my human has the radio on. I’ve learned this pandemic has resulted in the loss of life, jobs, and income and is affecting everyone in profound ways. It makes me sad, but I know that you humans are a resilient bunch. I see that there is still joy, there is still laughter, and there is still love among you. That’s great news and it would be even better news if when you felt happy, you could share that positivity openly and with lots of people. How wonderful if you could communicate your joy to the people you pass on the street, to the people in your neighborhood and to the people you socially distance with? But how can you? You’re stuck wearing a mask, have to stay inside more than outside, and can’t embrace.

The answer is clear; you need a tail.
 I’ve given this lots of thought and so please try to understand how I came to this conclusion.

I’ll admit that a tail was not necessarily needed before this virus started. In the past, you would smile and hug and share your joy that way. Although your sharing was still limited since you couldn’t always see a smile and most people don’t hug total strangers. Further, smiles are only visible at close range and you’ve got to be facing the person that’s smiling. If you are behind them or to the side of them, you won’t see it and you’ll might not know that they’re happy. Smiles are also momentary and typically have a short duration, and you can miss them if you don’t look at exactly the right time. So, even before this pandemic, the challenges of humans sharing their good cheer were substantial.

Which leads me to my point that tails are necessary and make so much sense! Just think about the simple tail wag and how incredible it really is. We dogs can share our joy instantly! We walk into a room with our tails vigorously wagging and we light up the room!  You can be to the side of us, behind us, in front of us and regardless of where you are standing, you can see our wagging tail. You can also see it from quite a distance away so you never miss it! And, our tail wags can go on for quite a long time, sometimes even for hours! My human has told me that it’s hard not to smile when you see a happy dog with a wagging tail! Even if we had to wear masks like you or when the Vet puts on that dreaded cone, we can still let you know how we love you with a few happy shakes. The tail wag is a wonderful thing.

Since you humans don’t have that, you could try to improvise with a wave hello? Or a vigorous hand- wave? No, I don’t think that would work since some humans might mistake that for a call for help or attention. Kind of like flagging someone down. So yes, it seems conclusive that humans need tails and that’s all there is to it. Especially these days!

You do have an option to get a tail, and it’s a great option at that. Why not go out and adopt a dog or two from your local animal shelter? That way you can kind of have a tail. Since when you care for your new dog and love them, they will be sure to wag their tails! And, based on your kindness and love, everyone will be happy! They get adopted into a home, and you have a tail to wag indirectly through them! And more joy and love and happiness will be spread to everyone around you! And that’s just what the world needs now, more than ever.

With love,

Benny H.

Benny H. is a 7-year-old mixed-breed dog who enjoys writing, meeting new people, and providing companionship to his loving adopter, Liz Hoffmann. They live in Connecticut. Liz has extensive experience in sales, marketing, and opening her heart to shelter animals.