Mother's get NO Respect!

By patrick quinn | May 11, 2018

A son says to his mother: "Mom, can I have twenty bucks?" Mom replies: "What? Do I look like I am made of money?" Son says; "Isn't that what M.O.M. stands for?"

On the morning of Mother's Day, a son yells to his mother: "How about breakfast in bed?" Mother is elated: "That would be wonderful my son!" The boy responds: "Great, I'll have eggs over easy."

A girl says to her friend: "I am worried about my mother!"...."Why? Is she ill?" The girl replies: "NO! she is great. She washes my clothes, cleans the bathroom, washes the dishes and cooks my meals." ...."So what's the problem?" Girl says: "What if she escapes!"

Mom wakes up in the morning and thinks: "OK, let the stress begin!"

A mother's homework prayer: "Grant me the serenity to accept this homework assignment I cannot change; The courage to help my child complete it; and the strength to help us finish before either of us ends up in a body bag!"

I am pretty sure the word "no" means asks MOM...repeatedly until mom changes her mind or LOOSES IT!!!!

Having one child makes you a mother; having two children makes you a referee; having three or more children makes you a bouncer!

A mother calls her sister and says: "I did what you suggested, I child-proofed my house....but they still get in!"

Want your children to call you on Mothers' Day? Post something embarrassing about them on Facebook!

A women says to a mother: "Your children are so bright and shiny." Mother responds: "Thanks, I wash them in dishwasher detergent."

My children call it "yelling" when I raise my voice, but I call it "motivational speaking for the selective hearing."

Mothers Murphy's Law:

If you wear black, they will have a runny nose;

If you wear white, they will have muddy hands;

If you change the diaper, they will immediately poop in the new one;

If you mop the floor, they will spill something;

If you put on fresh socks you will step in something that was just spilled;

If it is perfect, they will fix that for you;

If you say it, they will repeat it;

If it's important, they will forget it;

If you're tired, they will not be;

If you love them you will see the beauty in it all!


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